Hope in Heaven

I have had so much on my mind the last couple weeks that I feel like I just need to write about it and maybe it will make me feel better. A lot of these emotions started a little over 2 weeks ago when I heard the news that a friend of mine's little girl's heart had stopped. This little girl's name is Addison and she is just about a month and a half older than our twins. Her mom is Susie and we taught together at my last school, Landolt. Little Addi's heart story begins last year when her older brother Cade passed away suddenly playing soccer. He was 4 and a half years old and passed away the week of Easter. I will never forget hearing the news from my friend Lindsey about Cade. While I wasn't that close to Susie then, Lindsey was because they had both taught 5th grade together. My girls had a fever that week and I was so exhausted from taking care of them but as soon as I heard the news my perspective changed. I think most moms felt the same way. It just isn't supposed to happen this way. Come to find out, Cade had a heart condition that his parents never knew existed. They got Addi checked and she had it too. Over the past year her parents have had to grieve losing Cade and worry about how to help their precious daughter.
So a couple weeks ago, when she was at the dr. for a check-up her heart stopped. She was on life support for 48 hours and miraculously woke up and was starting to heal. We thought things were looking good until her poor little heart failed her again. She went to heaven to be with Cade on March 30th. I happened to be at the school that day because I was on Kindergarten field trip for a teacher who couldn't go. When we got the news about Addi, I just didn't want to believe it. No one did! We all thought that she was going to get her new heart and be all better.
When I heard about Addi being in the hospital and on life support my heart just sank. I kneeled down and prayed and prayed harder than I think I ever have. I think a lot of people did and that's why she got to get better for a few days and hug her mommy one more time. I went with some friends from school to see Susie on Sunday before she passed away. We were all so excited and full of hope for her. She was waking up and doing so well, just a miracle little girl!! I do know that all of this has happened for a reason, and Susie and Darrell know it too. Their faith is strong and they know they will see their sweet babies again someday. Susie's blog is such a testament to her faith that all who read it are inspired by her.
At Addi's memorial service our pastor Greg even said that he was humbled by them. I had been praying for him all weekend because I knew that no one wanted to be the one to try and comfort all these hurting people but you know what? God did. He spoke through Greg and gave us hope in our grief. He reminded us that because of Jesus we can see our loved ones again and that what we are feeling is okay.
I remember when I was younger I used to be scared of dying and not wanting to think about it. When I was in 4th grade my aunt and uncle lost their little boy who was only 6 months old due to a heart condition. They did surgery and tried to fix it but it was unsuccessful. This was 20 years ago so who knows what would happen now. I remember I was sad and I missed Michael but mostly I remember how sad my aunts and mom were. A couple years later I think, my mom's cousin lost her husband in a tragic car accident. I remember going to his funeral and being really scared. He was so young and left young kids behind. Was my dad going to die too?? Then, when I was a freshman in high school my other cousin passed away suddenly at 3 and a half. Caleb's death was hard. He was such a precious little boy and everyone who met him loved him. I babysat him and his older sister Kendra often so it was really hard not to see him anymore. My other cousin Matthew (Michael's little brother) was the same age as Caleb and they were "best buds". He didn't understand why we couldn't just get a ladder and go see Caleb in heaven. All these unexpected deaths really made me have mixed feelings about God and my faith. I was so young and still questioning so many things. I lost my Grandfather my senior year of high school and that was the first death that seemed somewhat "normal". He had been in the hospital and he was getting older so I was more prepared for him to go I guess.
I read the book Heaven is for Real about a month or two before Cade passed away. I immediately thought of my cousin Caleb and how I was kinda mad that he didn't get to come back to Earth and tell us all about heaven. But I was so happy to learn things that I didn't know about before and dig into to the Word to double check some things mentioned in the book. I had done bible studies over the last several years and I was less scared about heaven but still didn't really understand. After reading the book God revealed to me how wonderful it will be and that this life is only temporary. I read 90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper right after that and God worked on me some more to get rid of the scary thoughts and be excited about an eternity with Jesus.
Then Cade passed away and this time it was so different because I was a Mom now. I knew where he was and I was happy about that but heartbroken for Susie and Darrell. We ended up doing a bible study last summer and God taught us all so much. Susie showed us that God's grace can cover us in all situations and He really does love us no matter what. She showed me how strong her faith was and even strengthened mine.
Yesterday, the Easter message was about our faith and what we believe. I feel like it was the perfect reminder that because of Jesus, we have hope. We have hope because of his death on the cross and Resurrection. If we don't have Jesus in our lives, we have no hope and this world looks pretty grim. But because of our Saviour we are forgiven and get the privilege to meet him in Heaven. There are so many things in this world we don't understand but I feel like God is working on me through all of this to focus on him and HIS word. If nothing else, all these things happen to draw us closer to Him.